Two-Faced Monster


No need to panic people~
I’m still alive and still have all ten of my fingers in tact (despite numerous close-calls with a sharp knife in Hell’s Kitchen)

Blogging has unfortunately been pushed to the back burner as I boil, bake and roast my way into week 6 and 7.
I feel helpless to an insatiable carnivorous diet, held hostage in a vicious cycle of hunting and gathering…consuming food has consumed me. Welcome to the wonderful world of bulking aka eating to gain muscle.

After Bio-Sig four’s result of 13.3% (an increase of .3% but this time there was a small muscle gain), PT kicked up my daily calorie intake and prescribed a diet that makes Homer Simpson look like a light weight. Let’s not be too overly concerned about your body fat percentage for now, he says, you now need to concentrate on gaining some weight.

Wow, what a concept.

I have to eat myself silly to get me some muscles. Don’t people go to gyms and personal trainers to lose weight, not gain it?!

You can imagine my skepticism as I panicked. Am I going to bloat out and look gross in my new bikini? Thoughts of cellulite sent shivers down my spine. How would stuffing my face with more fat and meat not turn me into a whale, especially since now I’m doing minimal cardio exercise?

Well, it’s strange as hell but it works.
My prescribed eating plan is this: minimum 50% of daily calories must compromise of protein, with a 3 day cycle of fat or carbohydrate consumption.This means that on 2 consecutive days I have high fat low carb on the menu, followed by 1 high carb low fat day. Daily calorie maximum is 1900 and I continue pushing dumb bells throughout the week. Minimal to no cardio required.

The fear of gaining wight initially put me off and I had the urge to keep jumping on the treadmill to “take the fat off”. Physiologically, it took me a while to not imagining fat stores popping up all over my body.

I’ve now been on my “bulking” eating plan for 7 days, with no double chin or turkey arms in sight. My arms are definitely more defined and my shoulders are coming out, but I think more squats are in order to get my glutes perkier! Yes, my abdominal is not as lean as before and I’m shattered that you can’t weight train to build bigger boobs (although doing upper body sessions has made my chest sore), but overall I’m not looking much different.

I sure as hell feel different though, and I’ve had to make a more than a few adjustments in my life style to accommodate for the cycles.

I guess it’s a good and bad point that I’m no longer able to rely on eating out-
most of the meals I need to eat have to be free from dairy, sugars and the source of oil needs to be controlled, so it’s a lot easier if I make my meals myself.

Last week’s menu cooked up by yours truly included scrumptious crispy skinned salmon steaks and creamy coconut milk Thai curry, which is a vast improvement from the pitiful two minute noodle skill set I possessed before this whole lifestyle change! Mind you, I’ve had to sit on my hands and bite my lip through a few yum cha and fancy restaurant sessions so it hasn’t been an easy ride. My phone has been a god-send during these times, and I’ve been a busy girl fanatically sourcing new ideas from Google on how to dress up huge amounts of protein so that I don’t barf at the thought of chugging so much meat.

To the amusement of my boyfriend, high fat days are fast becoming known as “DO NOT TOUCH ME OR YOU’LL DIE” days…

Lethargic and irritable, I have noticed that on no-carb days my mood is foul and nothing he says or does is right.

I feel so sorry for the poor love, but I can’t help myself because everything is a struggle and doing simple things (like talking or walking) doesn’t come easy.

Heed my words of wisdom peeps: high fat low carb days with supersetted weight training is a dangerous recipe for an insane woman on edge, so “RUN BITCH, RUN!” while you still can…

My daily ritual now consists of waking up at the crack of dawn to be bundled into the car, arriving at the gym by 6:30 am for a workout that generally goes from an hour to an hour and a half. Then, after work, I go home and cook my dinner and food for the next day. Rinse and repeat.

The training routine has gone up a notch in difficulty and I’m guessing it’s because I told my PT how much I’m enjoying the sessions (to which he replied that I should be in pain and not having fun…oops).

Targeting specific areas per session, I basically have to do most exercises until failure. My least favorite? The damn leg press machine! 40kgs, minimum 20 reps- I crawl out from the seat whimpering like a wuss ready to murder anyone who remotely makes eye contact with me! I don’t want to admit this but I think I may have been guilty of making sex-grunts while pushing my guts out but, quite frankly, my care factor has dissipated along with my will to live.

[Check out my fellow blogger’s chronicles on the different personality types to grace the rubber matts at the gym…are you a “Crazy Treadmill Lady” or “Creepy Angry Man”?]

As always, I will get stronger and I will keep pushing harder, so hopefully 40kgs will get easier next week. Otherwise I might have to go break the damn machine.

With my last carb day as of yesterday, I thought I’d pump out my thoughts over the last two weeks before I become a vegetable again until Sunday.

Tootles and love lots,

P.S.  I cheated with a sugary lover this week….be ready to drool!

Recommended reads:
Why a High-Fat Diet is Healthy


2 thoughts on “Two-Faced Monster

  1. Heya Erika, thank you for the message and yes, the carb-less days took away my ability to form a sentence for a bit there! 🙂 Hope you have been well and thank you for reading. Skye x

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