Deadlines to meet, cardio sessions to endure, greasy burgers and pizzas to eat…
life has certainly thrown a few curve balls this week and I’m absolutely knackered!
I’ve been writing crazy long reports at work since Monday and, coupled with restless nights of little sleep, I think I have lost the ability to string together comprehensible sentences without turning into a rambling buffoon.
So, rather then burying my face into a seductive sugary cupcake (I can feel it mocking me from the communal office desk) I am going to vent my crazies now in a bid to keep my sanity abreast on the coo-coo meter.
Love you all for all your support and Twitter stalks,
#1 – Cheat Eats
Two words: F*ck. Yea!
Another week another cheat eat, but this time my choice had to be gluten free (Trainer Ben didn’t want me to do gluten in case my stomach bloated up like a carnival tent).
So, since a dirty chicken parma was out of the question because of the crumbing, I chose two of my favorite yummy-yum yum’s: my colleague’s homemade legendary brownies during the day and half a Salmon gluten-free pizza from crust (no hollandaise sauce) for dinner.
Seriously, the injection of carbs must have shaken up my entire system because that night I seriously stepped the shit out of the stepper machine at the gym- 289 floors in 40 minutes, I was pumping!
#2 – Pills, pills, pills
If I felt like a junkie before, then I feel like a Mexican drug lord now.
Two and a half weeks out until competition and the pills have steadily increased.
All supplements (of course…I’m natural, mthrfckrs haha!) and meant to help with muscle recovery and maintenance.
My daily dosages run something like this:
- Morning – 20+ BCAA’s, 2 x shots of L-carnitine, 2 x hydroxy fat burners, 3 x fish oils, 3 x digestives
- Afternoon – 3 x digestives
- Night – 3 x digestives, 3 x fish oils, 2 x methylators
Now add 8 magnesium and 6 zinc pills to this mix and you can slap me on the ass and call me Kate Moss.
#3 – Vanity Fair
Photo shoots and posing classes!
The glamorous side was all happening- I’ve been lucky enough to enlist the help of the beautiful Jay Mitchell to help me with my walk on stage and had a massive weekend with two shootings over two days with two extremely talented photographers.
Getting dolled up and playing it up for the clickity-click’s was definitely the funnest part of this whole fitness model journey and almost made all that time giving birth at the gym worthwhile 😉
Didn’t take any behind-the-scene photos (I have been kicking myself for not doing that!) but did manage to sneak some selfies during the last shoot to ahem, document, the make up stylist tricks. Now waiting impatiently for the photos so I can see the final post production, can’t wait!
Which brings me to the next (not my favorite) moment of the week….
#4 – Water manipulation
No water from 5pm until the photo shoot finishes at 1pm the next day? Seriously?
I’m not sure if anyone can recall my extreme fail with the Himalayan salt shaker last week, but that day I consumed waaaay too much salt. Then my trainer tells me that I have to cut out water from 5pm on wards. Apparently, water manipulation helps the body lose enough fluid to make the skin appear tighter so more muscle definition is visible. Seeing that I was going to be strutting my tail feather in skimpy midriff exposed smalls for the camera, I suppose I was willing to entertain the looney concept and cut off the fluids.
Recipe for disaster? Mmmmm almost. Let’s just say it was an interesting “I shouldn’t be alive” moment in my life….
- 5:00pm: Water manipulation starts. Takes last sips from bottle after cardio session. Slightly worried but too tired to care.
- 6:30pm: Friend’s birthday dinner at a Japanese restaurant. Waste precious saliva explaining to the wait staff that I can’t have gluten, sugar, nuts or dairy on my fish.
- 7:00pm: Dry dry dry. Sucking anything resembling fluid in food- that mushroom salad has never tasted so good…keep the salmon sashimi coming!
- 8:30pm: Full but oh so thirsty. Starting to stop talking to conserve liquid in my mouth. How much longer?!
- 9:45pm: Watching everyone eat ice cream for dessert while I sit there reserving precious energy and fluids. Sun’s gone done but it’s still a balmy 30 degrees. Nice.
- 11:00pm: Longest, deadly silent drive home from restaurant with over-caring fiancé. Why didn’t I ever learn sign language? For the love of god, don’t make me talk!
- 12:45am: Laying in bed. Can’t stop feeling like I’m lost in the Sahara ugh…desperately trying to think happy thoughts. Antarctica, ice bergs, penguins…oh my god I’d do anything to suck on that penguins wet feathers right now…
I’ll have to do more water manipulation for one more shoot next week and then for the big competition, so wish me luck while I shrivel up and die two more times!
#5 – Baby Got Published!
I’m so extremely proud of my fiancé (and inspiration) getting his body building transformation published in Australian Iron Man magazine!
He worked his ass off for 12 weeks last year and did it like a champ- it was the height of winter, he wasn’t driving for most of the time and he was putting the rest of his blood, sweat and tears into his fledgling mortgage broker business. That was true strength and it makes me respect and admire him more.
Jon’s been incredibly supportive of my own fitness model journey and every time I feel like throwing in the towel, all I can hear is his voice barking, “Is that all you got? C’mon bubby, don’t bitch out now!”
Can’t ask for a more understanding and patient partner in crime and I’m hoping to follow his footsteps soon and also get my little mug in a couple of magazines too 😉
- Metabolism Analogy (thebodybuzz.wordpress.com)
- The verdict on cheat days: do they really work for weight loss? (athleanx.com)
- Dropping water (jbtlabs.com)
- The Fat Diaries – Confessions of a Fat Molecule (trainasp.com.au)